The question of when is the best time to have children with a Russian woman does not pop up as often as it should. While most Russian women are family-oriented and love to have children rather sooner than later, here are a few things you may want to think about.
Many Western men marry Russian women, because they make not only good wives, but good mothers. It is not uncommon for Russian women in their early twenties to start a family and have children. A huge percentage of Russian women in their mid-thirties have teenaged kids, while Western women just start thinking about having a baby at that age. Western men, who marry younger Russian women often can’t wait to start a family and try to get their Russian wives pregnant as soon as they cross the border. If you are one of these men, here are cons of having children with your Russian woman right away.
First of all, since you had mostly a long-distance relationship, you don’t know your new wife as well as if you lived with her for a while. She may have flaws which you didn’t notice before and she may have some wonderful qualities which you missed while corresponding as well. If you have a baby right away, you are risking getting to know your spouse on a deeper level. Having kids will change both of you and unless you are wealthy and can afford a nanny, it will be a long time before you and your wife can have a romantic getaway and not worry about bottles, diapers and naps.
Also, if you want to have children with a Russian woman right away and if she says she wants the same thing, remember that during your first year of marriage she will be experiencing homesickness and maybe even depression. Adding pregnancy hormones to both of these may not be pretty.
Eventually, her homesickness will heal; she will make friends and feel comfortable living in the U.S, but first year usually is pretty difficult.
Despite of what I wrote, there are certain pros of having children with your Russian woman right away.
The younger your wife is (unless she is 18), the better the chances of her having an easy pregnancy and a healthy baby are. There is a reason why pregnant women over 35 are tested for many things that women in their 20s are not.
When she arrives to the United States, she will not be able to work or study right away, so having a baby might be a good idea since she will be stuck at home anyway. She may learn English while she is pregnant get a driver’s license and get all the things necessary to prepare her to life in the United States. She may also try to network with some other pregnant moms, which should help her adapt to a new culture as well.
Every couple is different and depending on what your needs and desires are, you can choose what works the best for you. We personally had children right away and never regretted it, but we also know couples who waited for a few years and are happy with their decision as well. There is no right or wrong whether to have kids right away or wait awhile. The only mistake you can make is not to think this important decision through.
by Natalia Chajkovskaya
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When is a good time to have children with a Russian woman?
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