No matter how great the country you are moving to is, it is never easy to leave your own. Eastern European women who are planning to come to the United States on a K1 Fiance Visa usually become very stressed and sometimes even depressed when they are preparing to leave. They don’t know what to bring, what not to bring; they don’t know what to expect and what not to expect from your country or even from you. They are usually unfamiliar with the culture and often uncomfortable with the language.
One of my friends who was coming to the U.S. on a K1 Fiance Visa asked her American husband-to be what she should bring with her, but the guy had no clue.
Unfortunately, she didn’t know me or any other Russian women living in the U.S. back then, so she ended up bringing four suitcases full of completely unnecessary things which they ended up taking to goodwill.
The girl’s mother, an old-fashioned Soviet woman, said that since the guy was a bachelor for so long, he probably doesn’t have any pans or pots, so she convinced her daughter to bring a heavy aluminum set of pot and pans. Imagine that!
Here are some tips to avoid such situations as well as to reduce your bride’s stress and anxiety when she is planning to come to the U.S.
1. Tell her not to bring pots and pans (just in case she has similar mother who is going to advise her doing so). Even if the only cooking appliance in your house is a microwave, don’t go crazy buying stuff because she will most likely know much better what to buy. Unless you are a chef, of course, but then you should have plenty of things to cook with.
2. Ask her to bring some pictures of her town, her house, her apartment, her friends, her family as well as her childhood pictures. Out of all of my friends who came to the U.S. only one thought about bringing pictures (I didn’t either). You are so busy and so worried about documents, your trip and your future that you don’t think of these things. But then when you come here and your homesickness and depression kick in, you curse yourself for not bringing something so important. When you ask her to bring these photos, please don’t tell her that you are doing it to help reduce her future depression. I hope I don’t have to explain why.
3. Tell her that she is not saying farewell to all her friends and family. Planes still fly across the ocean, so she will be able to go back and visit her family and friends. This is a very important thing to remember, because it is much easier to say Goodbye knowing that this is not the last time you are seeing these people. Many women are shy to ask their fiancees whether or not they will be able to travel (and how often) and many guys simply don’t think about it.
4. As far as clothing goes, she really shouldn’t bring her entire closet, because it will be cheaper to buy stuff here than to pay for extra luggage. Remember that Russian women like to dress up nicely, so if you are planning to take her shopping, don’t take her to Wal-Mart. Take her to the outlets instead – Russian and Eastern European women love them. Just don’t forget to pay.
5. Don’t forget to tell her not to bring any electrical appliances, because the voltage in the US is different and so are the electrical outlets. You can buy adapters, but they don’t always work well and it is too much of a pain.
To sum up, tell your bride-to-be to relax and not to stress out. She is not coming to an uninhabited island, but to a civilized country, where she can buy what she needs, where she can use a telephone to call her family and use the Internet to send them hundreds of pictures. She may know all this already, but it will make her feel so much better if you will reassure her of this.
