How to help your Russian wife start a new life in the USA

Posted on December 21, 2009 by admin

Will life in the USA be perfect for your new wife? The United States is a great country. It is free and wealthy; people are kind and easy-going and there are many more opportunities here than in any other country. Everyone should be thrilled to live here, because life in the United States is nice and easy.

If you were born in the U.S. and think this way, you are a patriot who is proud of their country. If you were born somewhere else and still think this way, consider yourself extremely lucky. No matter which country people are moving to the United States from, they rarely say that life in the United States is easy and even though depending on where they are coming from they might feel blessed to live here, they still go through hardships and challenges which native-born people cannot relate to.
Even people who come to the US from third-world countries often find it hard to live in the U.S. due to its different culture, people’s different values and mentality.
Remember that Russia and former countries of the Soviet Union are not third-world countries and no matter what the rumors say, many Russians have a pretty high standard of living. On top of that most Russians are patriots and even though they often emigrate from their motherland, they still cherish it and are proud of it.
If you remember this, it will be easier for you to help your wife start a new life in the USA.
Some American husbands (often those who have never travelled) often assume that their country is so wonderful that being homesick is simply impossible. As a result they get angry and frustrated with their Russian wives, thinking that they are simply cranky and unthankful.
I am not going to get into the “what’s not to love” argument (unless you really want me to). Instead I am going to give you some tips on how to help your wife accept your country and love it as much as you do.
1. Don’t think that US is the best country in the world. It is not. In fact, there is no such thing as the best country. Utopia simply doesn’t exist. Accept the fact that there might be many things your Russian wife will not like in your country. Don’t take it personally. You would probably feel the same way if you moved to another country.
2. Help her to love your country by getting to know her country as well. If she feels that you are interested in her culture, she will more eagerly find interest in yours and open up to accept it much faster.
3. If she needs to talk about her motherland, listen. Even if she says the same things over and over again and it drives you crazy, suck it up and listen anyway. She will stop eventually, but in the beginning of her new life in a new country it is important for her to know that you are there to listen and that you care.
4. Ask her what is it that she misses the most and attempt to provide similar entertainment if possible.
For example, Many Russian women who come from big cities have a hard time getting used to suburbia where you can’t even go to the grocery store by foot. If your Russian wife is experiencing the same problem, take her to a city once in awhile or arrange a bus trip for her. Also, Russia has a pretty rich cultural life, so some women may miss concerts, museums and theatres. Ask her and at least show her that you try to help her out.
5. If there is something that she doesn’t like about the US and she keeps bringing up, don’t get defensive and God forbid you start trashing Russia. Instead, try looking at the issue with your wives eyes and try understanding why she may feel this way. You don’t have to agree with her if you don’t want to. Just try to be open-minded about it.
Your Russian wife may never accept certain things in your country, but it doesn’t mean that she will not love it. Russians very well realize all the flaws of their own country as well, but it doesn’t stop them from loving it and missing it when they are away.

The United States is a great country. It is free and wealthy; people are kind and easy-going and there are many more opportunities here than in any other country. Everyone should be thrilled to live here, because life in the United States is nice and easy.

If you were born in the U.S. and think this way, you are a patriot who is proud of their country. If you were born somewhere else and still think this way, consider yourself extremely lucky. No matter which country people are moving to the United States from, they rarely say that life in the United States is easy and even though depending on where they are coming from they might feel blessed to live here, they still go through hardships and challenges which native-born people cannot relate to.

Even people who come to the US from third-world countries often find it hard to live in the U.S. due to its different culture, people’s different values and mentality.

Remember that Russia and former countries of the Soviet Union are not third-world countries and no matter what the rumors say, many Russians have a pretty high standard of living. On top of that most Russians are patriots and even though they often emigrate from their motherland, they still cherish it and are proud of it.

If you remember this, it will be easier for you to help your wife start a new life in the USA.

Some American husbands (often those who have never travelled) often assume that their country is so wonderful that being homesick is simply impossible. As a result they get angry and frustrated with their Russian wives, thinking that they are simply cranky and unthankful.

I am not going to get into the “what’s not to love” argument (unless you really want me to). Instead I am going to give you some tips on how to help your wife accept your country and love it as much as you do.

1. Don’t think that US is the best country in the world. It is not. In fact, there is no such thing as the best country. Utopia simply doesn’t exist. Accept the fact that there might be many things your Russian wife will not like in your country. Don’t take it personally. You would probably feel the same way if you moved to another country.

2. Help her to love your country by getting to know her country as well. If she feels that you are interested in her culture, she will more eagerly find interest in yours and open up to accept it much faster.

3. If she needs to talk about her motherland, listen. Even if she says the same things over and over again and it drives you crazy, suck it up and listen anyway. She will stop eventually, but in the beginning of her new life in a new country it is important for her to know that you are there to listen and that you care.

4. Ask her what is it that she misses the most and attempt to provide similar entertainment if possible.

For example, Many Russian women who come from big cities have a hard time getting used to suburbia where you can’t even go to the grocery store by foot. If your Russian wife is experiencing the same problem, take her to a city once in awhile or arrange a bus trip for her. Also, Russia has a pretty rich cultural life, so some women may miss concerts, museums and theatres. Ask her and at least show her that you try to help her out.

5. If there is something that she doesn’t like about the US and she keeps bringing up, don’t get defensive and God forbid you start trashing Russia. Instead, try looking at the issue with your wives eyes and try understanding why she may feel this way. You don’t have to agree with her if you don’t want to. Just try to be open-minded about it.

Your Russian wife may never accept certain things in your country, but it doesn’t mean that she will not love it. Russians very well realize all the flaws of their own country as well, but it doesn’t stop them from loving it and missing it when they are away.