If you are in a relationship or married to a Russian woman you will most likely run into the situation of work. Will your Russian bueaty work or remain at home to take care of the household duties and children.
The issue about Russian women and work pops up quite frequently. Many Western men express concern that since in Russian culture men are supposed to provide for the family, their Russian wives may not be willing to work.
The truth is, in Russia the majority of women are employed. Maternity leave policies and family laws are much friendlier in Russia than in the United States. Women can stay at home with their children for up to 3 years without losing their jobs. Also, if a child is ill, the mother or father can take sick days to take care of them (pretty much as many as they need) without being afraid of getting fired and without using their vacation days.
As you can imagine, it is relatively easy to have a career and raise a family at the same time. In the U.S. it becomes difficult and many Russian ladies refuse to send their six-week old kid to a daycare or hire a babysitter to take care of them when they are sick. Russian women take motherhood very seriously and it is very difficult for them to accept American family laws, which is the reason why many of them don’t want to work when their children are young. Also, it is common for 3 generations of Russians to live together as it is very common for grandparents, ants and uncles to help raise the kids. Free of charge, of course.
So don’t believe in the statistics that marriage agencies are showing you. Yes, most Russian women work in Russia, but Russian laws and Russian lifestyle are different.
I suggest that if you are planning to have kids, you discuss these issues with your lady prior to marriage, because this is a potential minefield issue.
When your Russian wife is ready to get a job, there are a few things you will need to help her realize.
First of all, she may need help to write a resume. If she is older than 30, then it is very likely that she has never written a resume in her life. Resumes were not used during the Soviet era. Government was responsible for finding you a job, so resumes were not necessary.
A friend of mine who came to the U.S. from Moscow had a very hard time putting her resume together, even with her husband’s help. She couldn’t understand why she should list all her “strengths” on a piece of paper. She kept asking: “But how can they know I am telling the truth? Wouldn’t it be boasting? I would have never hired anyone who is boasting like that, I would rather show them that I am modest.” It took her awhile to understand and accept the differences in mentality.
Another issue that you should discuss with your wife (especially if she worked during Soviet times) if she does get a job is work ethics. In Russia (especially during Soviet times) it was sort of a norm to take stuff from your work (yes, steal) and bring it home. My grandfather worked in a meat plant for a while, so we always had lots of free meat in our refrigerator, which we often shared with our friends. Our neighbor was an engineer, so we were never lacking paper supplies which he was generously sharing with us in an exchange of meat.
I remember that during Soviet times it was very prestigious to work as a cook, because you would never have to buy any food and therefore, save tons of money.
Also, if you were a professor in a prestigious college, it would be expected that your kids will go to this college no matter if they deserve it academically or not. Your friends and neighbors would expect that you would help their kids as well and if you don’t, then they would consider you a snob and a jerk.
A Russian acquaintance of mine was fired from work for “borrowing” some work equipment without asking anyone for permission. He didn’t think it was a big deal and his boss was furious.
United States culture is far from being that collectivistic, so you will need to have a serious talk with your wife to make sure she stays out of trouble. And, as usual, if she doesn’t seem to understand why things are the way they are, give her time.
