Eastern European and Russian mothers are known for their attentiveness, affection and dedication. The Russian culture teaches women that motherhood along with being a wife, is their highest priority and they do find a great joy in it.
The main difference between the majority of Western and Russian mothers is that Russians are obsessed with watching over and controlling their children. There is a Russian saying that you should protect your children as well as you protect the apple of your eye and most Russian mothers take this very seriously. While I personally think that it is not a bad thing, it can lead to some extremes.
As a Russian mother I often realize that I am way overprotective with my children, but I can’t help it. I need to know what my children are doing, what shows they are watching and what they are eating. I feel that since God gave them to me, it is my responsibility to make sure they are always safe, well fed and well dressed. I hate leaving them with a babysitter and the only person I feel comfortable leaving my children with is my husband. I know Russian mothers who will not trust even their spouses to watch their young kids.
A funny thing my husband mentioned about Russian mothers is that we always overdress our kids. I never thought of it myself until he pointed out how many more layers of clothing our kids would have, compared to the others. I got his point and tried to dress them more lightly. The next year we went to Russia and I got quite a few remarks from strangers who commented how lightly my kids were dressed and that they were probably freezing. One older woman even “kindly” said: “If you don’t have enough brain how to dress your kid, you shouldn’t have had any”. Sweet, huh?
If you take your children to Russia and dress them the same way you dress kids in the U.S. don’t be surprised if you hear similar comments. Russian women like to give unsolicited advice, especially when it comes to lecturing young mothers.
Please, don’t discourage your wife to speak Russian (Ukrainian or whatever her native language is) to your kids. Even if she is staying at home with them and spends much more time with them with you do, they will learn English pretty fast. It is amazing how quickly kids learn and how effortless it is for them. I never spoke English to my kids – I spoke in Russian, sang songs in Russian, read to them in Russian, but they still picked up English faster (I guess from their father, from grandparents and their little friends).
We know many Russian-American couples with children and based on what I see, if you don’t teach the language to them when they are young, it is much harder to do it later and many kids simply refuse to learn another language later on, because they have much more fun stuff going on. Other than teaching your children to read and write, there is really no need to teach them anything else. If you, or rather your wife, speaks to them in Russian, they will pick up the grammar and the vocabulary naturally.
Raising children with a Russian woman is an easy task, because Russian mothers take motherhood seriously, so you don’t have to worry about your kids. You may encounter some challenges, but every couple, intercultural or not, has them.
