Russian Wedding – How different is it compared to an American Wedding?
Planning a wedding can be a daunting and a nerve racking task no matter how many people are helping you out. In the American culture the bride and parents of the bride are responsible for a huge chunk of the wedding planning, which makes it a lot easier for the groom. If you are marrying a Russian woman, all the pressure and responsibilities are on you.
As if it wasn’t hard enough, you need to know that Russian weddings are different and if you decide to have a wedding in the United States, you have quite a bit to discuss with your future wife.
When my husband and I were getting married I had absolutely no clue that it was not his responsibility to take care of all our wedding plans. I honestly thought that since he is a guy and a native, it is natural for him to take care of all our wedding plans. Only years later I understood how hard it must have been for him.
I was getting frustrated because he kept asking me what I wanted for the wedding and I just didn’t care. I didn’t know what was expected in American culture. I couldn’t grasp the concept of wedding favors, wedding registries, wedding party, bridesmaids and maid of honor. All I wanted was to get married to the man I loved and to have a long white dress.
My poor husband was trying to make everything perfect and he was really trying to please me. He was driving me crazy with questions of what I wanted and I just didn’t understand why it mattered what kind of flowers we have in church or which songs should be played.
So I was annoyed and he was so overwhelmed with planning the wedding that he forgot to pick up his tuxedo in time and forgot to arrange for the wedding cake to arrive.
Later we both understood that it was a culture clash and if I could take back time, I would have insisted to have a wedding in my home country.
If your schedule and finances allow you to do it, I strongly recommend you have a wedding in your wife’s country. All Russian women dream of their wedding since they are little girls and most women who marry in the U.S. don’t have a wedding that they’ve been dreaming about. No matter how nice their wedding in the U.S. could be, not having your family and your friends on your big day can be very depressing. We had a beautiful wedding and my mother was able to come for it, but I would much rather have a smaller and much less nicer wedding in Russia with my friends, my relatives and my family.
Also, if you have a wedding in Russia, it takes 99% of the pressure off you. You will probably have to pay for some things, but since you probably don’t know what needs to be done and how and don’t know the language, your bride’s family is going to take care of all the planning.
If you have to have a wedding in the U.S., sit down with your bride before you start making any plans and ask her to tell you about Russian wedding traditions and if she would like to implement any of them in your wedding. Depending on where she is from, traditions may differ. Try to be open-minded and try not to push anything that she is not comfortable with. You don’t plan a wedding for your friends or your family. Wedding planning should be a pleasant experience and it is totally up to you two what you are going to make out of it.
