Russian wives can provide a challenge to someone who is not use to the culture. If you were paying attention to my previous articles you know that first year of marriage with a Russian woman will probably not going to be easy. It is not going to be any more difficult than the first year of marriage to an American woman, but you should not have any illusions that if you married a Russian, you are destined to have a lifelong honeymoon.
The first year is usually one of the most difficult ones for any marriage, but it is also one of the most exciting. Yes, you will have problems and conflicts will occur, but at the same time the first year will bring you many special moments, which you will cherish for the years to come. One of the best strategies to cope with the difficulties is to concentrate on these beautiful moments and try to turn any conflict and misunderstanding into something good that will make your marriage stronger. As Dale Carnegie, a famous American writer and a pioneer in personality development used to say: when fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade.
For example, most Russian women have difficulties adjusting to a life without their family and friends. She may feel lonely and cry a lot, which may be annoying and frustrating for you, but try looking at her homesickness at a different angle. Treat it as a blessing and an opportunity for you to show her your love and support. You cannot replace her parents or her siblings, but you can be the most amazing husband, who will always offer a shoulder to cry if she needs it and a little gift to cheer her up with when she is down. If you stand by her during these difficult moments, she will never forget this and will always be thankful for having you as a husband.
If you are having a hard time understanding each other’s cultures, look at it as an opportunity to grow, to learn and to become more open-minded. If you want to understand each others cultures better, you may want to study some history, which is also a great way to spend time together. Your Russian woman will be very pleased that you are taking time to learn about her culture and I am sure you’ll appreciate if she learns more about your country as well. Learning about each others cultures on a deeper level will show that you are committed to each other and to your marriage.
If she and her stomach have problems with American food (which is not uncommon at all), take her to ethnic restaurants or find a Russian store in the area. She would probably love to cook Russian meals for you. Russian women are not picky eaters, but don’t expect them to love junk food and fast food restaurants. If you are a junk food eater, then you probably already know how to make good of out of this situation. Eat well, and it will not only make your Russian woman happy, but will benefit your health as well.
Whatever difficulties you may have, remember that most likely they are not unique or unusual and most Russian-American couples go through them. You may not be able to control the circumstances that life serves you, but you can and should control the way you respond to them. As someone smart once said, happiness is your attitude, so do yourself and your spouse a favor and be happy.
