by Art Saborio
If you are searching for a foreign fiance, are you just thinking of your own needs? Or are you also entertaining thoughts of what your fiance is searching for in her own life? Have you thought about asking her? Do you understand her dreams and goals? Does she want kids? Does she want a big house? Does she want to live a certain country? What is she looking for in a relationship?
Many of these girls have never been out of their own country, village or city. Most girls go through life just trying to make ends meet. They know they want to be married and have a family. But aside from those two general dreams, what does this girl really want out of life with you, a man from another country?
When you start to look at things from your fiance’s perspective, she has one thing in mind. In her world she believes that having kids and a husband will fulfill her life. But just those two things alone can explode into many more dreams, goals and needs. And these are the things you really want to understand before bringing your fiance home to you.
Can you support her goals? Can you support her dreams beyond marriage and children? Maybe her dreams are so different from yours that it leads to divorce. Maybe her idea of marriage is so different from yours that you never truly find a way to connect.
Communication should be the cornerstone of your relationship. You don’t get to see each other much, so make sure you communicate. Ask the hard questions and be ready for the truth. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you will change her once you are together. You need to accept her the way she is or don’t accept her at all.
Your fiance will change once she starts to adapt to her new county. She will take on the culture that surrounds her everyday life. You will have to be able to change with her and understand why she is changing. Start to look at her as an individual and find out her needs as your relationship moves forward.
In the beginning things will be scary for your fiance and she will cling to you more than normal. You will think that she will be this way forever, but that is not the case. When your fiance starts to feel comfortable, she will become more independent and want to venture out on her own.
This does not mean you are losing your fiance, it just means she has found her place in life. Know when to give her space. She will be thankful to you and your relationship will be better for it.
A life together can be great. It can be rewarding and fulfilling. There is something about sharing your country with someone you love that heightens the relationship. Love her with all your heart and never forget why you brought her to your country. She is the reason for your happiness and the reason you spent all the hard work to bring her home to you.
